
Kinesiologist, Coach & Author of Love Deliberately

Life Over 40
July 23, 2026
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About this episode
Download your Identity Audit resource: https://lifeover40withjese.myflodesk.com/identityaudit
Have you ever found yourself asking...
"Why does this keep happening?"
Whether it's dating the same type of person, struggling to set boundaries, outgrowing friendships, or feeling emotionally exhausted, many of us unknowingly repeat relationship patterns that keep us stuck.
In this episode of Life Over 40, I sit down with relationship coach and author Alfina Lofaro to explore why our childhood experiences, beliefs, and unconscious habits continue to shape our relationships well into adulthood—and, more importantly, how we can begin to change them.
This conversation isn't just about romantic relationships. It's about the relationship you have with yourself, your friends, your family, your career, and the life you're intentionally creating after 40.
If you've been craving healthier relationships, more joy, and a deeper understanding of yourself, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we discuss:
✔️ Why we repeat the same relationship patterns
✔️ How childhood experiences influence adult relationships
✔️ The importance of self-awareness and curiosity
✔️ Setting healthy boundaries without creating conflict
✔️ Why safety and trust matter in every relationship
✔️ People-pleasing, communication, and emotional patterns
✔️ How to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships after 40
About Alfina Lofaro:
Alfina Lofaro is a relationship coach, kinesiologist, speaker, and author of Love Deliberately. She helps people uncover the unconscious patterns shaping their relationships so they can build deeper, healthier, and more fulfilling connections.
AlfinaLofaro.com - https://AlfinaLofaro.com
Love Deliberately (Book) - https://amazon.com/search?q=Love+Deliberately+Alfina+Lofaro
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Alfina's background
02:10 Why relationships are a reflection of self
04:04 The importance of nurturing all types of relationships
06:01 Trust as a foundational element in every relationship
08:06 Common relationship patterns in women over forty
09:58 The impact of childhood and cultural conditioning
11:50 How to recognize and change unconscious patterns
13:52 The role of safety and trust in love and connection
15:48 Practical steps for self-awareness and curiosity
18:10 Setting healthy boundaries with love and respect
19:59 Living on purpose: joy and connection in midlife
21:59 How to connect more deeply with yourself and others
24:10 Final thoughts and resources
25:07 Connecting with Alfina and closing remarks
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