What Alfina Lofaro talks about

Relationships Under Lockdown: what the removal of everyday distractions revealed about trust, boundaries and repair

When the distractions disappeared in 2020, Alfina Lofaro watched couples, families and friendships find out what they had actually built. A kinesiologist, coach and award-winning author of Love…

Why Knowing What to Do Isn't Enough: Unconscious beliefs can override intentions when people feel threatened, rejected, unsafe, or conflict-averse.

Most people know what they should do. They know they should set boundaries. They know they should say no. They know they shouldn't take everything on themselves. They know they need to communicate…

Repairing Business Relationships: what to do after trust breaks with a partner, client or team member

Alfina Lofaro has spent more than 20 years as a kinesiologist and coach helping people see the patterns they bring into every relationship, and she applies the same lens to business. Most founders…

Setting Boundaries Without Losing Connection: Why saying no feels selfish at first, and how to hold a boundary through the guilt and the pushback

Alfina Lofaro spent much of her life as the person everyone could rely on, and after more than 20 years as a kinesiologist and coach she knows the moment most people abandon a boundary: not when they…

Recognising Overgiving Patterns: How unconscious beliefs can drive women to say yes when they mean no.

Alfina Lofaro knows what it feels like to become the person everyone can rely on - saying yes when you mean no, taking on more than is yours to carry, avoiding conflict, and gradually putting…

The Body's Role in Relationship Patterns: how physical reactions drive approval-seeking, conflict avoidance and people-pleasing, and how to interrupt them in real time.

A kinesiologist with more than twenty years in practice watches the same thing happen in session after session: the client calmly explains what they intend to do differently, and then the body…

How Conditional Love in Childhood Shapes Adult Relationships: Recognising the habit of earning approval at home and at work, and how to unlearn it

Alfina Lofaro grew up on a 300-acre farm in rural Queensland, the daughter of Italian migrants, learning early that love could feel conditional and belonging had to be earned. So she earned it: a…

Relationship Patterns Start Within: Self-awareness reveals patterns people repeat across work, family, health, and personal dreams.

We often think of relationships as being about other people - our partner, our children, our family, our colleagues or our clients. But the relationship that quietly shapes all of them is the one we…

Relationship Patterns From the Inside: using lived experience to make the work relatable

Many people avoid relationship advice because it can feel polished, clinical or impossible to relate to, especially when the expert appears to have had love figured out from the beginning. Alfina…