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EP 720: Alfina Lofaro - How to Love Intentionally in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)

Alfina Lofaro · July 8, 2026

Life Coach · Author · Relationships · Leadershipin

Interview with Alfina Lofaro

EP 720: Alfina Lofaro - How to Love Intentionally in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)

Podcast: Last First Date Radio

July 8, 2026 · 45 min

How do you love intentionally in midlife and beyond? Alfina Lofaro wrote a book on this topic! She is a kinesiologist, coach, author and speaker helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Through "Love Deliberately", she teaches self-awareness,…

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EP 720: Alfina Lofaro - How to Love Intentionally in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)
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Key topicsYou do not trust someone with your relationship struggles until they sound human enough to understand themMany people avoid relationship advice because it can feel polished, clinical or impossible to relate to, especially when the expert appears to have had love figured out from the beginning. Alfina opens up a more human conversation by sharing how her own early beliefs around earning love, working hard and giving more than she received shaped her relationships for decades. Rather than positioning herself above the listener, she uses lived examples to show what unconscious patterns actually look like in real life, from friendships and work to marriage and family. This gives audiences permission to stop judging themselves and start noticing the quiet relationship habits that may be costing them connection. Relationship Debt — What Founders Owe the People Who Got Them HereAlfina Lofaro has spent more than 20 years as a kinesiologist and coach helping people see the patterns they bring into every relationship, and she applies the same lens to business. Most founders treat trust, boundaries and repair as private matters, then wonder why the partnership soured, the team went quiet, or the client stopped calling. She argues that the relationships behind a growing business run on the same unconscious habits people carry at home: earning approval, avoiding conflict, giving more than they receive. Drawing on Love Deliberately and 15 years running personal development workshops, she shows what repair actually looks like between a founder and the people around them. Listeners leave able to name the one business relationship they have been quietly letting slide, and what to say to fix it.Load Bearing — what lockdown exposed about relationships once every wall had to carry weightWhen the distractions disappeared in 2020, Alfina Lofaro watched couples, families and friendships find out what they had actually built. A kinesiologist, coach and award-winning author of Love Deliberately with more than 20 years in practice, she argues lockdown did not cause the strain, it removed everything that had been hiding it: the commute, the calendar, the busyness that let people avoid each other politely. She walks through what people learned about trust, boundaries, communication and repair when there was nowhere else to be, and why the same patterns crept back once life filled up again. She names the habits that held under pressure and the ones that folded. Listeners leave able to test their own relationships without waiting for the next thing that clears the calendar.View all topics →

About Alfina Lofaro

Alfina Lofaro, podcast guest

Kinesiologist, Coach & Author of Love Deliberately

20+ years Experience in education, coaching & kinesiology2 Amazon bestselling books2 Awards & grants won in 2026BA (Honours) Australian Catholic University, 2002

Alfina Lofaro is an author, speaker, kinesiologist, coach and leadership facilitator who helps people understand the unconscious patterns shaping the way they love, communicate and show up in their relationships.

Growing up on a 300-acre farm in rural Queensland as the daughter of Italian migrants, Alfina learned early that belonging could feel conditional - and that being good, helpful and dependable could be a way of earning love. For much of her life, she responded by doing more, giving more and becoming the person everyone could rely on.

It took years, and a painful chapter of her own life, for Alfina to recognise the cost of continually saying yes when she meant no, putting other people's needs first and giving away her time, energy and attention without realising what was driving the pattern.

That experience became a turning point.

Today, Alfina speaks to a powerful and often overlooked truth: knowing what you should do is not always enough to change what you actually do. Beneath conscious beliefs are unconscious programs that can influence how we communicate, avoid conflict, seek approval, tolerate unhealthy dynamics and repeatedly give ourselves away - sometimes one small yes at a time.

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About this episode

How do you love intentionally in midlife and beyond?Alfina Lofarowrote a book on this topic! She is a kinesiologist, coach, author and speaker helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Through "Love Deliberately", she teaches self-awareness, communication, boundaries and compassion, drawing on more than two decades of experience and her own lived journey to help audiences connect with greater intention and responsibility.

In this episode:

How doing more in relationships impacts your relationship with yourselfWhy we repeat relationship patterns while waiting for the other person to changeHow COVID revealed the quality of people’s relationshipsWhy your body reacts when your mind wants to respond differently

Connect with Alfina

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/alfina-lofaro-bb222b91/?isSelfProfile=falseIG https://www.instagram.com/alfinalofaro/Website https://www.alfinalofaro.com/

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Guest: Alfina Lofaro

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