Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Lost Contact? Why Some Parents Have to Push Away Their Kids

Catherine Hickem · January 19, 2026

Author · Executive Coach · Life Coach · Leadership · Relationshipsin

Interview with Catherine Hickem

Lost Contact? Why Some Parents Have to Push Away Their Kids — Catherine Hickem

Podcast: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

January 19, 2026 · 31 min

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Key topicsWhy Parents Must Grieve the Child They Imagined to Truly Love the One They HaveParents don’t just raise children-they raise dreams. When those dreams collide with reality, whether through career choices, identity shifts, or unexpected turns, unspoken grief often creeps in. Left unacknowledged, this grief can harden into distance, resentment, or even estrangement. Catherine explains why facing this loss is not only natural but essential: it clears the path for genuine acceptance, deeper love, and healthier adult relationships. Drawing from four decades as a psychotherapist and her own experience as a mother, she brings compassion and clarity to a family dynamic most people feel but rarely discuss-making her a rare and credible voice in helping parents move from disappointment to connection. From Parent to Partner-The Shift Most Families Fail to MakeThe hardest part of parenting isn’t the sleepless nights or teenage rebellion-it’s knowing when to step out of the authority role and step into partnership. Too many parents miss the moment when their child no longer needs direction, but respect. The result is tension, distance, or even estrangement. Catherine breaks down what this transition really requires: letting go of control, learning the art of listening, and showing up as a steady ally in adulthood. With four decades as a psychotherapist and her own lived experience as a mother, she offers a rare blend of candor and compassion that helps parents make the leap from managing their children’s lives to being invited into them. Why Expectations Are the Silent Killers of Parent-Adult Child ConnectionIt’s rarely the big blowups that fracture families-it’s the quiet weight of unspoken expectations. Holiday gatherings, milestone decisions, and even casual conversations often mask assumptions that leave adult children feeling unseen or judged. Over time, those invisible pressures can be more damaging than outright conflict, eroding trust and driving distance. Catherine explains why expectations must be named and dismantled before real connection can thrive, and how parents can trade silent judgment for honest dialogue and healthy boundaries. With decades as a psychotherapist and a mother who has navigated these very dynamics, she offers a candid roadmap for parents ready to stop sabotaging the very relationships they long to protect. View all topics →

About Catherine Hickem

Author, Psychotherapist & Founder of Parenting Adult Children Today

40+ years Licensed psychotherapy experienceThousands Parents guided2024 Founded Parenting Adult Children Today20 years Led The Dash Group

For over 40 years, Catherine Hickem has helped families and leaders navigate emotional complexity with clarity and purpose. A licensed clinical social worker, seasoned psychotherapist, and executive coach, Catherine has worked with thousands of parents and professionals alike—guiding them through seasons of conflict, change, and growth. Her career has spanned both private practice and corporate leadership, including two decades at the helm of The Dash Group, a consultancy focused on developing impactful leaders, healthy cultures, profitable outcomes.

Today, Catherine is leading a national conversation around one of the most overlooked family dynamics: the relationship between parents and their adult children. Despite how common this phase of life is, few resources exist to help parents navigate the transition from authority figure to trusted ally. Meanwhile, 26% of adults aged 18–40 are estranged from at least one parent, a data point that underscores the urgency of Catherine’s work.

Through her platform, Parenting Adult Children Today, she provides resources that are clear-eyed and compassionate, rooted in both clinical experience and personal story. Catherine speaks with empathy and credibility, as a professional who has seen these wounds play out in therapy rooms, and as a mother who has walked the path of reconnection and herself.

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About this episode

Why do loving parents sometimes push away the very children they'd do anything for?

This week,Catherine Hickemjoins Dr. Kerry to unpack one of the most painful dynamics in modern families—parental estrangement. We explore how unspoken expectations create invisible walls, why parents mistake control for connection, and how grief work (yes, grief work) is the secret to letting your adult children become who they actually are, not who you needed them to be.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

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MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Stuck waiting for certainty before you leave?

Catherine and Dr. Kerry tackle the cognitive dissonance trap—why you'll never feel "ready" to go, how to make the hardest decision of your life without clarity, and why almost no one regrets leaving once they finally do.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT CATHERINE HICKEM

Website: https://www.parentingadultchildrentoday.com TikTok: @parentingadultchildrentdEmail: catherine@parentingadultchildrentoday.comCATHERINE HICKEM, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, executive and family coach, and founder of Parenting Adult Children Today. With over 40 years of experience and a master's degree in clinical social work from the University of Louisville, Catherine has dedicated her career to helping parents navigate the often-overlooked complexities of raising adult children. She is the author of Regret-Free Parenting and specializes in estrangement recovery, teaching parents how to release expectations, grieve unmet dreams, and rebuild relationships grounded in acceptance rather than control.

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Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry!

YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Guest: Catherine Hickem