The Voice of Early Childhood

From Behaviour to signal: A different way to understand children

Geoff Owen · August 18, 2026

Life Coach · Leadership · Authorin

Interview with Geoff Owen

From Behaviour to signal: A different way to understand children — Geoff Owen

Podcast: The Voice of Early Childhood

August 18, 2026 · 57 min

Many childhood behaviours labelled as difficult, oppositional or defiant may make far more sense than we realise. This article and podcast episode explore a biological perspective on defiance, screens, difficult behaviour and why modern parenting has become so exhausting.

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From Behaviour to signal: A different way to understand children

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The Voice of Early Childhood

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Key topicsGolfers know you cannot fix the shot until you read the conditions, and Geoff says parenting works the same wayGeoff has played golf for most of his life, still competes at 70, and recently shot 77 in a club competition, so his parenting lens does not borrow from golf loosely - it comes from someone who understands the game from the inside. He sees a direct parallel between good golf and good parenting: the mistake is usually not solved by forcing harder, but by reading the lie, the pressure, the weather, the course, and the conditions shaping what happens next. For golfing parents, especially those who know the pressure of performance or travel, this reframes a child’s behaviour in a way that feels immediately familiar. Geoff shows why behaviour, like a golf shot, is not something to simply correct in isolation; it is a response to the conditions around it, and when parents learn to read those conditions, they stop wasting energy fighting the wrong problem. The disconnected child who retreats to their room is not rejecting the parent, but objecting to the environmentWhen children withdraw, shut down, become monosyllabic, or disappear into screens, parents often experience it as disrespect or rejection. Geoff reframes that behaviour as a form of instinctive self-protection, especially when the child does not have the language or maturity to explain what feels wrong. His work shows how small shifts in parental pressure, presence, and attention can change the emotional climate without forcing a confrontation. For parents of tweens, teens, and young adults at home, this creates a hopeful conversation about rebuilding connection without chasing, pleading, or controlling. Children do not need to be raised into maturity as much as reared in the conditions that allow itGeoff makes a sharp distinction between raising and rearing, because one suggests shaping a child from the outside while the other points to the conditions that allow a child to grow. His perspective is rooted in the belief that children are born social, capable, and responsive to the atmosphere around them. Rather than asking parents to mould behaviour through constant correction, he helps them see maturity as something that develops when children feel trusted, included, connected, and safe enough to settle. This is a powerful conversation for parents who sense that conventional parenting language no longer fits the kind of relationship they want with their child. View all topics →

About Geoff Owen

Founder of Biologically Aligned Parenting, Reframing Oppositional Behaviour Through Parent-Child Environment

Nearly 40 years Exploring child development30+ years Applying the framework as a father2 Published parenting booksOld Vic Theatre School Trained

Geoff Owen is the founder of Biologically Aligned Parenting and the author of The Parenting Assumption, a book that challenges the belief that children’s behaviour needs to be managed, corrected, or controlled.

His work grew out of a question he began asking long before he became a parent himself. After training at the Old Vic Theatre School and spending years in theatre, Geoff came across The Continuum Concept, a book that changed how he understood childhood, maturity, and the environment children need in order to develop. Years later, when he had daughters of his own, he put those ideas into practice in real life rather than treating them as theory.

Geoff’s view is direct: behaviour is not the problem; behaviour is a response. He works with parents who are exhausted by daily conflict, resistance, defiance, distance, aggression, or over-compliance, and who feel they have tried everything from boundaries and consequences to consistency, explanation, and professional advice. His approach asks parents to look beneath the behaviour and understand what the child is responding to in the environment around them.

Through Biologically Aligned Parenting, Geoff helps parents see how the pressure to control often creates the very resistance they are trying to stop.

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About this episode

Read the article here:

https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/from-behaviour-to-signal-a-different-way-to-understand-children/

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If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like:

• The science of play: How shared activities transform family dynamics, with Professor Sam Wass - https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/the-science-of-play-how-shared-activities-transform-family-dynamics/

• Active vs passive screen time, with Musa Roshdy - https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/active-vs-passive-screen-time/

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Episode break down:

00:00 – Introducing the episode andGeoff Owen

02:26 – What does it mean to view behaviour as a signal?

05:18 – The fish-in-the-river analogy: looking at the environment

09:32 – Children's biological expectations and the 'ancient blueprint'

11:45 – How adults broadcast their emotional state

15:13 – Children on the periphery of everyday life

19:35 – Seeing children as capable, competent, valued and trusted

21:55 – How Geoff's own childhood shaped his thinking