Why staying away from church feels safer than walking into the wrong room

This discussion speaks directly to people who haven’t rejected church so much as quietly avoided it, often without fully naming why. Richard describes the subtle calculations many people make before ever stepping inside: fear of judgment, pressure to conform, or being asked to declare beliefs they haven’t sorted out yet. Drawing from his year attending dozens of services without committing, he explains how presence turned out to be far less demanding than avoidance made it seem. The conversation reframes church not as a test of belief, but as a human space where skepticism is often tolerated more than people expect. 

About Richard Riccardi

Richard Riccardi, podcast guest

Author of The Wandering Worshipper on Belonging, Presence, and Community in Faith

33 Houses of worship visited in one year25 years Co-owned & operated Food Source, LP15+ Early-stage CPG companies & funds backedAuthor The Wandering Worshipper

For years, church occupied an uncertain middle ground in Richard G. Riccardi’s life. Being raised Catholic, he believed attendance mattered, but his experience with it was unfulfilling. A generous assessment of his attendance was irregular and uninspired.

Eventually, instead of asking what he should or was obligated to do, he asked a simpler question: Is going to church worthwhile? He put the concept to the test by attending services at 33 different places of worship, crossing denominations, cultures, and faith traditions in one year.

As the journey unfolded, he discovered he knew a lot less than he thought. Time and again, the differences and preconceptions he assumed would dominate the experience receded once he was inside the house of worship and interacting with real people.

Rather than the typical negative impressions of church, he encountered smiling, welcoming people; heard uplifting, not condemning, faith messages; learned that the differences in faith traditions are not so different; and discovered faith can transcend race.

The experience transformed him, and he concluded that there is a place for everyone, and everyone needs a place. Sure, churches aren’t perfect; they are composed of people, but the imperfections are fewer than expected, and there is a constant aspiration to do better.

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310. Why Do Guests Find Church Visits Intimidating? With Richard Riccardi, author of The Wandering Worshipper
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Spiritual Life and Leadership· Listen to Richard Riccardi on air