Grace Harper
Founder of Butterfly Letters, Helping Alienated Parents Preserve Love and Hope
About Grace Harper
After nearly two decades in a marriage shaped by coercive control, Grace made the decision to leave—knowing it would be difficult, but not anticipating what would follow. In the years after, her situation escalated into parental alienation, cutting off contact with her son in ways that were sudden, confusing, and deeply disorienting. What had once been a close, everyday bond became silence, filtered communication, and eventually no communication at all.
In that absence, she found herself doing what many parents in similar situations quietly do: writing letters, saving memories, holding onto moments in the hope they might one day be seen. But the process exposed a deeper fear—what if those words were never received? What if time, distance, or circumstance erased the chance to ever explain, to ever be understood?
That question became the turning point.
While searching for a way to preserve her voice, her memories, and her relationship with her child, Grace realised nothing existed that could truly hold that space. So she built it.
Butterfly Letters is a secure digital vault where parents can write letters, store photos, record audio, and create a living archive of their love—delivered when their child is ready to receive it. It’s designed for people navigating alienation, uncertainty, and long periods without contact, offering something tangible in situations where so much feels out of control.
What makes Grace’s work distinct is not just the product itself, but the perspective behind it. She understands the complexity of holding hope without certainty, of choosing how to show up for a child you cannot reach, and of continuing to grow through circumstances that could easily stop everything. Alongside building the platform, she is developing resources to support parents emotionally and practically through similar experiences, shaped by what she has lived rather than theory alone.
Her work speaks to a reality affecting millions of families globally—parents, grandparents, and caregivers navigating separation, alienation, and the long road back to connection.
As a podcast guest, Grace brings a deeply personal perspective on parental alienation, resilience, and rebuilding identity, sharing what it means to keep showing up with clarity and care even when connection isn’t guaranteed.
Key topics
The waiting period is where most parents quietly break, because no one tells them how to live inside it
Parents experiencing alienation are often told to stay patient and trust that their child may return, but very few are shown how to handle the years in between. Grace brings a more grounded perspective by sharing how she focused on becoming someone her child could come back to, rather than someone defined by anger or loss. That meant continuing to grow, documenting her life, and finding ways to stay emotionally present even without contact. This creates a meaningful conversation for listeners who are trying to rebuild themselves while holding onto an uncertain future.
The version of you your child hears is not always the truth, so preserving your voice becomes essential
When a parent is no longer present in a child’s daily life, the story that replaces them can shape everything. Grace’s work is rooted in the idea that children deserve access to the unfiltered voice, memories, and love of the parent they were separated from, when they are ready to receive it. Through Butterfly Letters, she has created a way to capture moments in real time rather than trying to reconstruct them years later. This opens up a powerful conversation about memory, narrative, and what it means to protect a relationship when you cannot actively participate in it.
Parental alienation is not just separation, it is a slow and disorienting loss of reality
Most people assume alienation is simply a breakdown in contact, but the experience is far more destabilising than that. Grace can speak to what it feels like when communication becomes filtered, intentions are reframed, and even attempts to reach your child are treated as harm. Her perspective helps audiences understand the psychological toll of trying to stay grounded while your role as a parent is quietly rewritten in your absence. This gives hosts a much more honest and human conversation about family breakdown than the usual surface-level narratives.
View all topics →
Key topics
The waiting period is where most parents quietly break, because no one tells them how to live inside it
Parents experiencing alienation are often told to stay patient and trust that their child may return, but very few are shown how to handle the years in between. Grace brings a more grounded perspective by sharing how she focused on becoming someone her child could come back to, rather than someone defined by anger or loss. That meant continuing to grow, documenting her life, and finding ways to stay emotionally present even without contact. This creates a meaningful conversation for listeners who are trying to rebuild themselves while holding onto an uncertain future.
The version of you your child hears is not always the truth, so preserving your voice becomes essential
When a parent is no longer present in a child’s daily life, the story that replaces them can shape everything. Grace’s work is rooted in the idea that children deserve access to the unfiltered voice, memories, and love of the parent they were separated from, when they are ready to receive it. Through Butterfly Letters, she has created a way to capture moments in real time rather than trying to reconstruct them years later. This opens up a powerful conversation about memory, narrative, and what it means to protect a relationship when you cannot actively participate in it.
Parental alienation is not just separation, it is a slow and disorienting loss of reality
Most people assume alienation is simply a breakdown in contact, but the experience is far more destabilising than that. Grace can speak to what it feels like when communication becomes filtered, intentions are reframed, and even attempts to reach your child are treated as harm. Her perspective helps audiences understand the psychological toll of trying to stay grounded while your role as a parent is quietly rewritten in your absence. This gives hosts a much more honest and human conversation about family breakdown than the usual surface-level narratives.
View all topics →