Bryan May

In this enlightening episode my guest reveals groundbreaking insights into achieving personal growth. If you're stuck, or at your plateau in life and you either can’t see what’s next or how to get beyond where you are, this is one you’re not going to want to miss.

Bryan May is a highly sought-after Breakthrough Consultant who helps individuals break through personal and professional barriers. He’s also a dad. Drawing from his personal experiences, Bryan now helps others overcome limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and life's inevitable plateaus.

To learn more about Bryan May or get coaching visit:

https://www.bryanisamazing.com/

Find Bryan May on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/bryan.may/

Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge

Transcription - Overcoming Life’s Plateaus

---

In this enlightening episode of The Fatherhood Challenge, my guest reveals a groundbreaking

insight into achieving personal growth if you're stuck or at a plateau in life and either

you can't see what's next or how to get beyond where you are.

This is one you're not going to want to miss, so don't go anywhere.

Welcome to The Fatherhood Challenge, a movement to awaken and inspire fathers everywhere

to take great pride in their role and a challenge society to understand how important fathers

are to the stability and culture of their family's environment.

Now here's your host, Jonathan Guerrero.

Greetings everyone, thank you so much for joining me.

I have Brian May with me.

Brian is a highly sought after breakthrough consultant who blends business acumen with

spirituality to help individuals break through personal and professional barriers.

He's also a dad.

Drawing from his personal experience, Brian now helps others overcome limiting beliefs,

self-doubt, and life's inevitable plateaus.

Brian thank you so much for being on The Fatherhood Challenge.

Thank you very much for having me, I appreciate it.

Brian let's start with your story.

What's the story behind how you became a breakthrough consultant?

The story is this.

I am a couple of years ago I had a tragedy in my life and I lost my wife and so my son and

I kind of rebuilt.

He was only one and a half at the time and I was very spiritual beforehand and it took

me more onto that path.

When you have such a young boy, you don't want him to have negative feelings towards these

kind of events that are obviously negative towards us as adults, right?

Even obviously if you're a child, five in up, which he's five now, of course would be

very sad for them but at one and a half, it's a hard thing to deal with.

I didn't want him to have negative feelings towards it.

That's what kind of broke me out of this shell that I was in and really forced me to keep

living life if that makes sense.

Is it normal to hit a plateau in life or is there ultimately something wrong with us or

in us that is creating the plateau?

I think it's totally normal to hit a plateau, right?

I think we hit multiple plateaus depending on the areas of our life, whether it's going

to the gym and not being able to lift more weight than a certain amount, whether it's

not being able to make more money than a certain amount.

I think plateaus are super normal and with breaking through, with being a breakthrough consultant,

the whole point is to break past limitations.

The whole point is to break past those plateaus by gaining clarity, right?

We want that new level of understanding.

We want to turn that moment of an obstacle or a challenge and we want to transform it into

an opportunity.

As they say, it's the darkest before the dawn and we need to push through and sometimes

we get stuck because we run out of options of how to push through and sometimes people

don't want to push through.

For me personally, I don't take on clients that let's say they know they're in some kind

of a trouble, they know they hit some kind of plateau, but they don't want to push through.

It has to be someone that, hey, I really want to get to the next level but I don't know

how or I don't know what's stopping me.

But once you say, hey, I want to get past this, I want to get a Ferrari, well then your brain

can start thinking a little differently.

It is very important to understand that these plateaus are totally normal in life and we

have to want to break through that.

When you get to a point that you don't know how to break through, you need to seek help

just like you would if you were in the gym, you would hire a personal trainer.

It's just like that.

What you went through was often what's referred to as the dark night of the soul and oftentimes

for me, I've hit it twice in my life and every single time it's a terrifying experience

and I have at first tried to avoid it that tends to be the instinctive reaction you just want

life to go on and you don't really want to go into that dark night place.

There are bad consequences to be paid over a long period of time for avoiding that dark

night experience rather than just going through it.

Going through it is terrifying.

It is not a fun place to be but who you are coming out on the other side of it.

If you've gone through it well is often a place where you can find your identity and purpose

and it sounds like that's kind of like what you went through.

Absolutely.

I think there's multiple layers and I think what people have to realize, which they know,

a lot of times you push it to the side is that different people feel differently, people react

differently, right?

There's not just one trick for everyone.

You have to work with people based on their personality and based on their previous experiences.

I think that a lot of times we think that, "Oh, well, if I go through this dark night of

the soul, I'm never going to feel negative things again."

That's not true.

You can go through it and still feel negative emotions.

I'll give you an example.

This just happens to me.

Last week, Monday and Tuesday for whatever reason, I woke up Monday morning and I just

was not feeling well.

It was like sadness was just very heavy on my heart.

In May of this year, I lost my mother.

She passed away.

My father is, he's going through his own grieving process.

He wanted to remove some of my mother's clothing from the house and we ended up bringing

a lot of the clothing here and going through it.

I think it was a combination of that.

I felt very heavy Monday and Tuesday.

What I remind myself, even though I'm sad, I still am happy that I'm going through this.

I'm happy that I am experiencing these human emotions.

I try to enjoy it.

I try to enjoy those waves up and down and it's very important because listen, that's how

I connect to my late life.

That's how I connect to my mother and I have my little playlist on Spotify and I enjoy it.

I enjoy the sadness.

I rest and then Wednesday I woke up like a superstar.

Wednesday I hit the gym harder than ever and it was a great thing and I think one last

thing, you have to remind yourself and I think that remembering and reminding yourself,

people always talk about affirmations but just simply reminding yourself of things is

very important because the brain has a tendency to make us forget, if that makes sense to

you.

Through significant personal challenges, we've talked about the loss of your wife and then

we've also talked about the loss of your mother which I know what that's like when the death

of my mother really is one of the big things that sent me spiraling into my second dark night

of the soul.

Death just has a way of really waking up some things in you, questions that you may have

had and that's what sent me into that direction.

But you also have been through some health challenges as well.

How have all of those things shaped the way you coach?

Absolutely.

I mean, a lot of it is about resilience, right?

A lot of it is about getting knocked down and getting back up.

You know when you're a child, it's very normal when you start to walk to constantly fall

and it's normal when you start and learn to ski that you know when you, the first time

you ski, everyone knows they're going to fall.

And so the question is, are you willing to keep getting back up in order to get to the

black diamond?

Are you willing to keep getting back up in order to learn how to run?

And the only way to do that is by continuously falling.

You know, Michael Jordan has scored many, many points, but what's even more impressive

is how many shots he's missed.

I believe it's around 12,000.

And so the best baseball players have missed the most balls.

And so we have to really remember that failure is really a way to get success.

And so between health issues, I have Crohn's, which is a stomach disease, and I just wouldn't

let it stop me from living my life.

You know, I know people personally that have some kind of a stomach disorder and they just

stay at home.

They have a work from home job.

They play video games.

They never go out.

They don't have many friends that they see in real life.

And listen, their whole life is built around their conditions.

And now some conditions are more controllable than others, but for me, I just, I don't take

no for an answer.

Whether that's in sales, business, negotiating, and I like win, win, but it has to make

sense.

And you can't just accept that first now.

Talk about your successes for a little bit.

I think that's important given the light of where you've come from.

And for the audience to understand what is possible, you have Crohn's.

You've made a decision not to let it hold you back from living your life.

You've had two significant deaths within the last few years.

So brag about yourself for a little bit.

What are you doing with your life?

My previous life in New York was all real estate.

So I own property in Brooklyn.

I own property in Maryland.

I own property in Florida.

I've sold over 300 houses as a real estate agent.

I own my own office with partners.

We sold, you know, I've sold over $250 million worth of business collec