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EP 649: Joan Childs - Why We Repeat Toxic Patterns in Relationships

Joan Childs · February 25, 2025

Relationships · Authorin

Interview with Joan Childs

EP 649: Joan Childs - Why We Repeat Toxic Patterns in Relationships

Podcast: Last First Date Radio

February 25, 2025

Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over 47 years of clinical experience. As a pioneer in Encounter-Centered…

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Key topicsFinding the Right One-or Becoming the Right One?Joan challenges the myth of finding the 'perfect partner,' emphasizing that meaningful relationships are built on growth, self-awareness, and mutual effort rather than idealized compatibility. Drawing from decades of clinical practice, she explains how societal narratives create unrealistic expectations and why individuals often repeat destructive patterns rooted in unresolved childhood experiences. Joan offers practical tools to help individuals identify their needs, break harmful cycles, and develop healthier communication and empathy. By reframing love as a collaborative journey rather than a quest for perfection, she empowers listeners to cultivate relationships grounded in authenticity, mutual respect, and lasting connection. Do You Hate the One You Love?Joan dives into the themes of her book, _Do You Hate the One You Love?_, to explore why relationships often reach breaking points and how couples can turn conflict into connection. She discusses how unresolved childhood traumas and emotional patterns from dysfunctional family systems manifest in adult relationships, leading to recurring conflicts and frustration. Joan shares the distinction between hating a partner’s behavior versus the person themselves, offering tools to reframe emotions, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy. With actionable insights and relatable stories, she empowers couples to reclaim the 'sacred space' in their relationships and create lasting, meaningful bonds. Love, Loss, and Healing by Turning Pain Into PurposeDrawing from her deeply personal journey of overcoming grief, including the profound loss of her daughter to bipolar disorder, Joan shares how facing such pain can transform relationships with others and with oneself. She explores how grief, while devastating, can also serve as a powerful catalyst for growth, resilience, and self-discovery. Joan offers compassionate insights into navigating the complexities of loss, emphasizing the importance of honoring emotions, finding meaning in difficult experiences, and embracing self-compassion during the healing process. With a focus on building emotional resilience, she provides actionable tools to help individuals not only move through grief but also emerge stronger, with a deeper capacity for connection, empathy, and purpose in their relationships and lives. View all topics →

About Joan Childs

Joan Childs, podcast guest

Psychotherapist and Relationships Expert with over 47 Years Experience, Acclaimed Author and Inspirational Speaker

Since 1978 In private psychotherapy practiceFeatured The Oprah Winfrey ShowCertified EMDR, hypnosis & inner child workDo You Hate the One You Love? Published relationship book

Joan Childs, LCSW, is a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over 47 years of clinical experience. As a pioneer in Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, Joan has dedicated her career to healing fractured relationships and guiding individuals toward self-actualization. Her therapeutic journey has included individual, couples, group, and family therapy, earning her certifications in transformative modalities such as EMDR, Hypnosis, and Inner Child Work.

Joan’s book, Do You Hate the One You Love?, is a profound exploration of the complexities of modern relationships. Through real-life insights and years of clinical wisdom, the book dissects how unresolved traumas impact relationships and provides actionable solutions for couples seeking to rebuild intimacy and connection. Having been featured on national television, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Joan brings authority and passion to her mission of helping people reclaim the "sacred space" within their relationships.

A passionate and engaging speaker, Joan inspires audiences by weaving her personal experiences—such as overcoming profound grief and navigating personal loss—into universal themes of resilience and emotional healing. Her compassionate approach to discussing co-dependency, the challenges of relationship breakdowns, and the quest for meaningful connections leaves listeners feeling understood, empowered, and equipped to embrace change.

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About this episode

Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest,Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over 47 years of clinical experience. As a pioneer in Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, Joan has dedicated her career to healing fractured relationships and guiding people toward self-actualization. Her therapeutic journey has included individual, couples, group, and family therapy, earning her certifications in transformative modalities such as EMDR, Hypnosis, and Inner Child Work.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why we repeat toxic patterns in relationships Common mistakes couples make and how to avoid them What to do when there’s a loss of intimacy in a relationship The biggest myth about love and relationships

Connect with Joan

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanechilds/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joanechildslcsw/?_rdc=2&_rdr#  Website: https://joanechilds.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joanechilds/

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Guest: Joan Childs

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