Leadership
Csaba Toth on Why Knowing About Cultural Differences Is Not Enough
A failed start-up taught the cultural intelligence specialist that awareness of differences is only the beginning. Working well across cultures means seeing the person, not the national average.
63 Csaba Toth Intercultural Communication Specialist
Video from Jane Jackson - Career Coach.
Generated from the canonical interview transcript and validated against source data by Guests on Air.
Why is knowing about cultural differences not enough to work well across cultures?
Knowing that cultures differ does not tell you how a difference feels in the moment or how to handle it. Csaba Toth argues that national averages rarely describe the real person in front of you, so people need a way to read individual behaviour, use emotional intelligence and treat others the way they need to be treated.
Csaba Toth learned the cost of cultural friction the hard way. A restaurant booking site Csaba Toth built grew to 5,500 restaurants, then fell apart over a partnership that could not bridge its cultural differences. On the Jane Jackson Careers podcast, the cultural intelligence specialist explained how that failure became the starting point for a new way of understanding people at work.
The lesson was not simply that differences exist. Toth had studied international management and already knew the theory. What the theory did not provide was a way to handle the emotions that surface when a colleague's habits clash with your own. Knowing about a difference, Toth argues, is very different from knowing how it feels and what to do about it.
That gap shapes the advice Toth gives to leaders, coaches and anyone working in a mixed team. Cultural averages describe groups, not the person in front of you. Personality, emotional intelligence and cultural background all play a part, and the work of understanding them never really ends. Here is how Toth frames the problem, and the habits that help.
Key takeaways
- Awareness of cultural differences is not the same as knowing how they feel or how to handle them.
- National averages describe groups; the real person in front of you may not fit the stereotype at all.
- Treat people the way they need to be treated, not the way you would like to be treated yourself.
- Use more than one model, connect with people who practise what they teach, and lead by example.
1. Why awareness alone did not save the business
Toth's first big venture grew out of a simple late-night craving. While reading a book about Dragons' Den, Toth wanted mussels and realised there was no way to search restaurants by dish. The booking site that followed let diners search live menus for a meal, compare value by quality, location or price, and read about each restaurant before booking a table.
The site grew to 5,500 restaurants, but the partnership behind it broke down. Toth describes how emotional the conflict became: even the sound of an incoming email could bring on stress. That was the point at which Toth realised the project was not going to work, without yet understanding why the working relationship had failed so badly.
The surprise was that Toth already had the theory. Having studied international management, Toth knew the differences existed, but knowing them did not mean being able to handle them. Culture is absorbed in childhood, up to about the age of ten, so most people are not even aware of it until something goes against it, and that moment is painful.
2. Seeing the person, not the national average
Most cross-cultural models compare countries along dimensions of culture. They are useful, Toth says, but they describe a group of people on average. When you meet a real person, that average tells you very little. The typical Australian or the proper Frenchman may be a stereotype, and many people from those countries are nothing like it.
Toth also points out that there are four main personality types, and people from the same culture can be completely different from one another. Expecting someone to behave like an average Brit can be very misleading. Toth wanted to understand how national cultural dimensions shape individual behaviour, and that question led to intercultural DISC, an assessment that combines the two.
Behind it sits what Toth calls the Platinum Rule. The golden rule says to treat people the way you want to be treated, which quietly assumes that others are like you. The Platinum Rule asks you to treat people the way they need to be treated. With five generations and many cultures in one workplace, nobody can learn them all, so a shared language for personality helps.
3. Three habits for working well across cultures
Toth's first tip is not to get stuck with one model. Many companies look for a silver bullet that explains everything, but people are far more complicated than that. There is little point in pointing out differences when emotional intelligence is close to zero. A more holistic approach brings together behaviour, emotional intelligence and cultural intelligence.
The second tip is to connect with like-minded people who actually practise what they talk about. Toth has met trainers who teach flexibility and open-mindedness yet behave very differently in real life. The third tip is to be your own brand and lead by example, because preaching is not enough and people can feel whether something is fake or real.
Toth is candid that this work is uncomfortable. Growing up in a communist country taught Toth not to stand out, and self-promotion still does not come naturally. Understanding another perspective is only the first step; the choice to change comes next. Cultural intelligence, Toth says, is a never-ending story: you learn every day, and thinking you are done is when you fail.
